Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
