i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
