But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize