Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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