I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize