Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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