is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
