lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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