at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
