we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
