sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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