Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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