Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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