oh god the rape fog is back!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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