Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
