Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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