Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
