He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
