goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
