i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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