You can't motorboat a personality
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
