Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
