well I can't set my house on fire every night
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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