Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
