Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
