I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she looked like the before picture.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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