i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just gift wrapped bread.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
