i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
