Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
