i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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