I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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