is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
