Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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