tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
