Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
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He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
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you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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