CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
