No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
