My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize