Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
