Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize