Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ymek hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.

Fav 11 991 1723
share tweet
(970): View more from Colorado

3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.

Fav 16 7829 988
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..

Fav 6 3069 1495
share tweet
(774): View more from Massachusetts

its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody

Fav 12 2938 1055
share tweet
(603): View more from New Hampshire

I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable

Fav 9 1779 777
share tweet
(910): View more from North Carolina

She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now

Fav 2 1437 788
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(802): View more from Vermont

"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..

Fav 4 1032 695
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.

Fav 4 967 465
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed

Fav 0 23 112
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT