exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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