Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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