i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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