Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
where does the pee come out of this thing
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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