I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
A bitchslap is in order.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
