So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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