An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
