Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
