he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
