Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you traded sex for a burrito?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
