I'm gonna have a badass scar
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
