I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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