Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
