Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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