Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I have fence marks all over my body
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
