Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
