True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
