i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
